Midnight thoughts

I'm doing it again. The house is quiet, the kids tucked in, and I really ought to be sleeping. But my man is out of town, and my head is churning thoughts like my life depended on it! So here I am - awake. Writing in the early hours of the coming night. Trying to straighten out my hyperactive mind.

I had a conversation the other day that brought a drop of clarity and a glimmer of hope to me. I spoke with a women whom I know to be an ordained priest, but frustrated with what she defines as the "closed-box thinking" of the state church, she now works different projects and found time to see me. I am really glad she did.
It's no secret I have been down the last few weeks, feeling somewhat suffocated by my work situation and feeling a lack of recognition for what I honestly feel is good work on my part. So I sought out this particular woman because I had a hunch that she would know what to ask me about.
And she did.

...what I really long for, is for my life to be more 

than a desire to follow in the footsteps of Christ. 

And during our conversation, it once again dawned on me, that what I really long for, is for my life to be more than a desire to follow in the footsteps of Christ. That I still think of making a difference in the world as a matter of finding the right calling. It suddenly became so clear to me, that if Jesus was to physically set foot in my workplace, he wouldn't struggle with the same emotions as I do. He wouldn't really care about rules and regulations and following procedures. He would look at the children and their parents and see their needs - and he would start meeting those needs! He would act instead of placing himself in a position of holy waiting - like I so often do, as I think many of us do! We believe we must act, but only when God says go... but in reality, God sad go about 2000 years ago, as Jesus drew his last breath on the cross.

I want my life to be like this:  reaching out as naturally as breathing. Bringing healing like I was fetching a cup of water. Offering prayer like I was administering ointments or placing bandaids over playground battle wounds. And I long to be in a place where I don't have to worry about rules and regulations, so I am still scanning the job adds, hoping to come across a job where making a difference concurrently will enable me to bring home a paycheck.
Why?
Beacuse I am still a mother with responibilities, bills and wishlists. Because in my neck of the woods, I cannot afford to leave the breadwinning to my husband and join the too-small corps of volunteers. So, that's my challenge for the next while.

Now it's time to turn off my computer, turn off the lights and the thoughts in my head. I need to sleep. Tomorrow brings with it what ever it will, and I need to be ready.

"We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It's an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us, in the order of Melchizedek." Hebrews 6:18-20


I have run to God for my life, time and time again. I have turned to him innumerable times, and I will continue to do so for the rest of my life.
A Finnish friend of mine just wrote an e-mail to me today, explaining some difficulties the Finns are experiencing right now, both in the Christian body as a whole, but also on a more personal level. "There's a battle going on..." she wrote.
I have to agree. I feel the throes of spiritual warfare around me. I am aware that I am a threat to the powers of darkness around me. I have declared my dependency on God, my loyalty and devotion to Him. But I have hope in Christ. I have a future in Christ, and nothing can take that away from me! I have an unbreakable spiritual lifeline - or an anchor, as the Danish translation says - that holds me fast when the waves around me start breaking. 
Jesus is my hope. Jesus is my saviour. He's my healer and my comforter. He's the solid rock on which I stand. I derive my value from him, I found my identity on what His word says about me. I know I was longed for, wished for and planned.


What is Jesus to you? If you don't know him on a personal level, I invite you to ask Him to reveal himself to you. Let Him show you all that he is, and let him be your unbreakable spiritual lifeline!

...and I will fall at your feet and worship you here...

I just wanted to share this beautiful song with you. We sang it at a women's conference I recently attended. It was beautiful!

A grapevine of goodness

Outside my terrace door, a beautiful grapevine climbs the yellow brick wall. During winter, it is bare, displaying thin, dry branches quietly echoing summers fertile state. It withers, more or less, and if I didn't know any better, I would have thought it was dead and void of life. 
But every spring, something amazing happens - small buds begin to appear, pushing through the dry bark of the thin brances. Sap begins to flow again, turning the dry, lifeless vine into a flourishing plant. In amazingly short time, the buds unfold to become lush, green leaves. As the summer sun travels across the sky, small, green grapes begind to grow and develop. 
Currently, I am waiting for them to turn dark purple. With the right amount of sun, warmth and water, they will mature and become the sweetest, most delicious grapes.
In many ways, that is how I envision the influence of christians to be in a hurting world. I long to see people tap into the root of all good things - Christ himself. I long to see people discover their true value and identity, to see them bud and bloom and unfold into beautiful individuals. I long to see fruit develop and mature, and to experience that fruit provide sweetness and nourishment to others in need. 
I dream of a living movement of men and women who cannot help but to reach out to others - women helping women in the line at the grocery store, men offering prayer at the workplace or at the gas station,  teenagers offering a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. I long for the body of Christ to unfold itself  like a grapevine of goodness, spreading blessings, healings and sweetness into dark places.
Let your faith flow through you like the sap of the grapevine. Be attentive to the voice of the Spirit, guiding you as to how and to whom you may make a difference. Find courage in knowing that you are not alone, that the King of kings is with you and delighted at the efforts you put into extending his grace. 
I, for my part, am still learning, still trying, still praying to  hear His voice clearer and clearer. Take heart, my friend - and let yourself slowly grow like the grapevine, joining in with all the other grapevines spreading the goodness of Christ.

En smuk vinranke slynger sig op ad den gule mur udenfor min terrasse dør. Om vinteren er den ikke andet end bare, tynde og tørre grene, der lydløst minder om sommerens frugtbare tilstand. Den visner, mere eller mindre, og hvis jeg ikke vidste bedre, ville jeg have troet, at den var død.

Men hvert forår sker der noget fantastisk - små knopper begynder at dukke op, de skubber sig ud gennem den tørre bark på de tynde grene. Saften begynder at flyde igen, og forandrer den tørre, livløse vin til en blomstrende plante. På forbløffende kort tid, folder knopperne sig ud og bliver til frodige, grønne blade. I takt med at  sommersolen rejser hen over himlen, begynder de små, grønne druer at vokse og udvikle sig.

I øjeblikket venter jeg på, at de ændrer sig fra grønne og umodne, til modne og mørke lilla. Med den rette mængde sol, varme og vand, vil de modne og bliver til de sødeste, mest velsmagende druer.
På mange måder er det sådan, jeg forestiller de kristnes indflydelse bør være i en skadet verden. Jeg længes efter at se mennesker blive forbundet med udspringet af alt godt - nemlig Kristus selv. Jeg længes efter at se folk opdage deres sande værdi og identitet,  at se dem spire og blomstre og udfolde sig til smukke individer. Jeg længes efter at se frugten udvikles og modnes, og til at opleve, at denne frugt giver sødme og næring til andre i nød.
Jeg drømmer om en levende bevægelse af mænd og kvinder, der ikke kan lade være med at række ud til andre - kvinder der hjælper kvinder i køen ved købmanden, mænd der tilbyder bøn på arbejdspladsen eller på tankstationen, teenagere der tilbyder et lyttende øre og en skulder at græde ud ved. Jeg længes efter at Kristi legeme må udfolde sig som en vinranke, fyldt med godhed, der spreder velsignelser, helbredelser og sødme i mørke steder.
Lad din tro flyde gennem dig, som den livgivende saft i vinranken. Vær opmærksom på Åndens røst, som vejleder dig om, hvordan og for hvem du kan gøre en forskel. Find mod i at vide, at du ikke er alene, at kongernes Konge er med dig, og at han glæder sig over den indsats du gør for at dele hans nåde med andre.
Jeg, for min del,  er stadig i færd med at lære, jeg forsøger stadig at gøre det gode, jeg  beder stadig om at høre hans stemme tydeligere og tydeligere. Fat mod, min ven - og lad dig selv langsomt vokse som den gode vinranke. Sammen kan vi være den gode vinranke, og være fælles om at sprede Guds godhed.

Sacrifice and worship

The whole assembly bowed in worship, while the musicians played and the trumpets sounded. All this continued until the sacrifice of the burnt offering was completed.

I'm reading my way through the Bible - something I expect will take me a year to do. To help me, I found a Bible reading plan from The Navigators, an organization of people who love Jesus and want to tell others about him (see www.navigators.org)

I am using their Bible reading plan called The Discipleship Journal Bible Reading Plan, and I can only highly recommend it. 

It is downloadable at www.navpress.com/uploadedFiles/15074%20BRP.dj.pdf

Advertising aside: At the moment, I am reading through 2 Chronicles. What strikes me is that the kings of Jerusalem again and again turn away from God, only to have God punish them severely - only to be followed by a new king who does what is right in the eyes of the Lord. And doing what is right in the eyes of the Lord always makes a difference! But it's like they just never learn, because soon, there's just a new king who gladly forgets God.
In the 2 Chronicles 29, a new king comes to power, and he wants to return to God. He carries out a purification of both priests, Levites and the temple. When everything is ready, they bring a multitude of offerings. I could not help but notice this verse: "The whole assembly bowed in worship, while the musicians played and the trumpets sounded. All this continued until the sacrifice of the burnt offering was completed." The question that resounds in my head now that we no longer bring offerings to be burnt, is - how long will you worship? And what sacrifice will you bring?

Jesus was the last offering to be sacrificed. His was the blood that was strong enough to be our saving sacrifice. His death on the cross was "all", what was needed - "all" in quotation marks because it was certainly not a small thing, but in fact an invaluable act - one that can never be repaid! We can only bring our lives as a sacrifice - living our lives in the shadow of his greatness, using our whole life to worship him, listening to him and doing what he asks of us. So the answer to my resounding questions must necessarily be "I will worship the rest of my life" and "I will sacrifice my life - my own will, my own way - and the rest of my days I will follow God." 

Is it easy? No. It is demanding to surrender your own will and the control of your life. There are days when I want to fight surrender - but again and again I am reminded that God does not want to do me any harm - that what he wants for me, is actually only good. When I look at the kings and Jerusalem in the 2 Chronicles, it becomes transparently clear: when they stay close to God, is it good for them. When they turn away from him, all goes horribly wrong!

Jeremiah 29:11-13 says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.You will seekme and find me when you seek me with all your heart." 

There is no doubt in my mind - I will keep me close to Him!

Offer og Tilbedelse


Hele forsamlingen tog del i tilbedelsen, som varede indtil alle ofrene var brændt.

Jeg er ved at læse mig gennem Biblen - noget, jeg regner med vil tage et års tid, til hjælp har jeg fundet en Bible læseplan fra The Navigators, som er en organisation af mennesker, der elsker Jesus og ønsker at fortælle andre om ham (se www.navigators.org)

Læseplanen hedder The Discipleship Journal Bible Reading Plan og kan varmt anbefales og downloades på www.navpress.com/uploadedFiles/15074%20BRPdj.pdf

Reklame til side: Lige for tiden er jeg så i gang med at læse 2. Krønikebog igennem, og det, der slår mig er, at kongerne i Jerusalem igen og igen vender Gud ryggen, hvorefter Gud straffer dem hårdt - så kommer der en ny konge, som "gør, hvad der er ret i Herrens øjne." Det gør altid en forskel! Men det er som om, de bare ikke tager ved lære, for så kommer der bare en ny konge, som endnu engang vælger at glemme Gud.

I 2. Krønikebog 29 er der kommet en konge til magten, som ønsker at vende tilbage til Gud. Han gennemfører en renselse af både præster og levitter, samt af templet. Når alt er klart, skal der ofres både brændofre, syndofre og sonofre, samt drik- og takofre. Og det, der sagde mig noget særligt var dette "Hele forsamlingen tog del i tilbedelsen, som varede indtil alle ofrene var brændt." vers 28. Det spørgsmål, der runger i mit hoved, nu hvor vi ikke længere brænder ofre, er - hvor længe vil du tilbede? Og hvad er det, du ofre?

Jesus var det sidste offer, der blev bragt. Han blev det blod, der var stærkt nok til at være vores syndoffer. Hans død på korset var "alt", hvad der skulle til - alt i citationstegn, fordi det jo ikke var en lille ting, men i virkeligheden et uvurderligt offer - ét, der aldrig kan tilbagebetales! Vi kan kun bringe vores liv som offer - leve vores liv i skyggen af hans storhed. Bruge hele vores liv på at tilbede ham, lytte til ham, og gøre dét, han beder os om. Så svaret på mine rungende spørgsmål må nødvendigvis være "jeg vil tilbede resten af mit liv" og "jeg vil ofre hele mit liv - min egen vilje, mine egne veje - resten af mine dage vil jeg følge Gud."

Er det nemt? Nej. Det er krævende at afgive sin egen vilje og kontrollen over sit liv. Der er dage, hvor jeg stritter imod - men igen og igen minder Gud mig bare om, at Han ikke vil mig noget ondt - at dét, han ønsker for mig, faktisk kun er godt. Når jeg ser på kongerne og Jerusalem i 2. Krønikebog står det lysende klart: når de holder sig tæt til Gud, går det dem godt. Når de vender sig fra ham, går det grueligt galt!

Jeremias 29:11-13 siger "For jeg ved, hvilke planer jeg har for jer, siger Herren, planer om fred og ikke om ulykke, planer om fremtid og håb. Når I beder til mig om hjælp, vil jeg høre jer, når I søger efter mig vil I finde mig. Ja, hvis I søger mig af hele jeres hjerte, vil I finde mig." 

Der er ingen tvivl i mit sind - jeg vil holde mig tæt til Ham!

Kvinderne i Jesu følge - An entourage of women

Kvinderne i Jesu følge

I den følgende tid gik han fra by til by og fra landsby til landsby, og han prædikede og forkyndte evangeliet om Guds rige. Sammen med ham var de tolv og nogle kvinder, der var blevet helbredt for onde ånder og sygdomme. Det var Maria med tilnavnet Magdalene, som syv dæmoner var faret ud af, og Johanna, der var gift med Kuza, en embedsmand hos Herodes, og Susanna og mange andre. De sørgede for dem af deres egne midler. 

Sådan står der i Lukas 8:1-3, og jeg har været nødt til at highlighte en lille del af teksten - nemlig De sørgede for dem af deres egne midler. 

Det er ikke nogen hemmelighed at jeg er meget optaget af kvinder, kvinders historier, kvinders plads i Guds rige og ikke mindst den kærlighed, Gud nærer til kvinder. I min egen vandring med Gud er det meget inspirerende for mig at beskæftige mig med disse ting, og derfor betyder ovenstående skriftsted noget særligt for mig.

Det var nemlig sådan i jødisk kultur, at kvinder havde en helt anden plads og rolle i samfundet end mændende. Det kan næppe komme bag på nogen - sådan har det været i det meste af verden! Men der var noget særligt ved Jesus, noget, som var så usædvanligt, at både kvinder og mænd følte sig tilskyndet til at følge ham - de følte sig draget, som var han magnetisk og fuldstændig uimodståelig. Men forstå mig ret - vi taler ikke om Elvis Presley eller Beatles lignende hysteri. Folk fulgte ham, fordi han tilbød noget, ingen før havde tilbudt. Læser vi Bibelen ved vi, at han helbredte de syge. Han oprejste de døde (det skete faktisk et par gange i det nye testamente  - mest kendt er vel Lazarus), og han satte folk fri for plagende dænoner. En af kvinderne i hans følge havde han smidt hele 7 dæmoner ud af! Der er ikke noget at sige til, at hun ønsker at holde sig tæt til Jesus - han var hendes befrier, hendes helbreder, han var den eneste, der havde kunnet give hende hendes værdighed tilbage igen.

Jesus var nemlig ikke optaget af loven, som hans samtids skriftkloge var det. Ingen tvivl om, at han kendte skrifterne - men ordet i sig selv, var ikke vigtigt for ham. Det var hjertet bag - mennesket bag traditionerne, reglerne og forskrifterne. Jesus havde oprigtig omsorg for de mennesker, han mødte. I Lukas 11 læser vi om Lazarus's død og den sorg, dette medførte. Jesus bliver så påvirket af den ulykkelighed, han ser og mærker, at han selv braser i gråd. Hvor fantastisk! Han føler med de sørgende, kender de smertendes smerte! Og han kalder Lazarus tibage til livet!

Jesus gjorde ikke forskel på folk. Han spiste med synderne - tolderne og de prostituerede, som ingen andre ønskede at blive set sammen med. Jesus var som den første i stand til at skelne imellem de handlinger, mennesker foretog, og så de hjerter, der bankede inde bagved.

Jeg er dybt fascineret af Jesus. Fascineret over hans evne og lyst til at vise nåde, til at sprede kærlighed, omsorg og ømhed. Hans styrke, når andre var svage. Hans villighed til at gå i døden, trods stor angst og smerte. Jeg er fascineret over den udstråling og påvirkning han har haft - så stærk, at kvinder, der blev regnet for mindre værd, af egen fri vilje, og for egne midler - resursestærke og med alle deres egne talenter og gaver, valgte at følge ham og ofre deres penge og tid på at være i hans nærvær.
Sådan vil jeg også gerne være.

After this, Jesus traveled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The Twelve were with him, and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out; Joanna the wife of Chuza, the manager of Herod’s household; Susanna; and many others. These women were helping to support them out of their own means.

So we read in Luke 8:1-3, and I've had to highlight a small portion of the text - namely These women were helping to support them out of their own means.

It's no secret that I am preoccupied with women, women's stories, women's place in God's kingdom and not least the love God has for women. In my own walk with God, I find it inspiring to learn more, and when I read the above scripture, I found it spoke to me. In Jewish culture, women had a completely different place and role in society than men. It can hardly come as a surprise to anyone - it has been like throughout most of the world! But there was something special about Jesus, something that was so unusual that both women and men felt encouraged to follow him - they were drawn, as if he were magnetic and completely irresistible. But please don't misunderstand me - we're not talking about Elvis Presley or Beatles hysteria. People followed him because he offered something no one had ever offered before. If we read the Bible, we know that he healed the sick. He raised the dead (it actually happens a couple of times in the New Testament - most well-known might be Lazarus), and he set people free from dreadful demons. He had actually freed one of the women in his entourage from 7 demons! No wonder that she wants to stay close to Jesus - he was her deliverer, her healer, he was the only one who had been able to give her dignity back. Jesus was not preoccupied with the law, like the contemporary experts of law were. No doubt that he knew the scriptures - but the word itself was not important to him. It was the heart behind - the person behind the traditions, rules and regulations. Jesus had genuine concern for the people he met. In Luke 11 we read of Lazarus's death and the grief this caused. Jesus is so influenced by the unhappiness he sees and experiences that he burst into tears. How fantastic! He sympathizes with the grieving, knows the pain of those in pain! And he calls Lazarus back to life! Jesus did not discriminate. He ate with sinners - tax collectors and the prostitutes that nobody else wanted to be seen with. Jesus was the first one ever to distinguish between the actions that people did, and the hearts beating within them. I am fascinated by Jesus. Fascinated by his ability and desire to show mercy, to spread love, care and tenderness. I am fascinated by his strength when others were weak, and his willingness to die, despite great anxiety and pain. I am fascinated by the charisma and influence he had - so strong that women who were considered inferior, of their own will and own funds - and with all their own talents and gifts, chose to follow him and sacrifice their money and time to be in his presence.
That's how I want to be.

Uden brok og beklagelser

Kære venner! Da jeg var hos jer, adlød I altid omhyggeligt mine anvisninger. Nu hvor jeg er langt borte, skal I i endnu højere grad lade Gud få lov til at fortsætte sit frelsesværk i jeres liv, idet I adlyder ham med dyb ærefrygt. Det er jo Gud selv, som giver jer lyst og styrke til at adlyde ham og gøre hans vilje. Gør det alt sammen uden beklagelser eller indvendinger, så I kan stå som uangribelige forbilleder, Guds uskyldsrene børn. Midt i den fordærvede og forvildede verden skal I være som strålende lys, der skinner for dem, der lever i mørket.
Filipperbrevet 2:12-15

Lidt over 14 dage inde i min læsning af Biblen (jeg har for nylig valgt at følge en bibellæseplan), læser jeg disse ord fra Paulus. Og når man gør som jeg gjorde den morgen, og startede læsningen med at bede Gud åbne mine øjne og give mig øre, der hører, må man jo forvente, at han taler til én... og det gjorde han.

Når vi gør noget, vi bliver bedt om, under protest, sådan som børn nogle gange vælger at tømme opvaskemaskinen med surmuleri, skaber det en dårlig stemning og ingen glæde. Når jeg som mor har sure børn, er det svært at føle taknemmelighed for deres hjælp i hjemmet. Deres indstilling kan udgøre hele forskellen.
Hvordan mon Gud så ikke har det? Han må nødvendigvis sætte pris på en ordentlig attitude fra vores side også (og så er det lige, det svier, når man selv har bedt Gud tale til en gennem den tekst, man har sat sig ned for at læse...). Jeg synes ellers, jeg plejer at være god, på dette punkt, men der er nok noget om det - hvor der er røg, er der som regel også ild.
Og hvem er det, vi adlyder? Er det Paulus? Tænk, hvis folk bare adlød ham, for at gøre ham glad. Adlyder vi bare præsten? Vores netværksgruppeleder? Eller vender vi os mod den Højeste selv, og adlyder ham?

Vers 15 gav mig også stof til eftertanke: Midt i den fordærvede og forvildede verden skal I være som strålende lys, der skinner for dem, der lever i mørket. Jeg ser ikke dette vers som et løfte om, at vi vil komme til at skinne, bare vi adlyder glad. Jeg opfatter ordet "skal" som et verbum - altså siger verset, at det her med at skinne, det er noget vi aktivt gør.

Jeg tror, at aktiv handling gennem at adlyde med glæde, helt sikkert vil føre til, at vi er skinnende lys.

Og ét er sikkert - med brok og klager skiller vi os ikke ud fra mængden.

Kære Jesus - tilgiv mig de gange, jeg lader min dårlige attitude præge min tjeneste for dig. Tilgiv mig de gange, jeg ikke der længere end til min egen næse. Vis mig hvor og hvordan, jeg kan tjene dig, så jeg kan komme til at lyse for de, der lever i mørket.
Amen.