Excuses students make...

I did it because he/she/they told me to. Often referring to really stupid incidents such as saying bad words to older students (who then punish by hitting or pushing)

My dog ate it. Yes. I have actually seen the remnants of partially eaten homework.

My little brother tore up my books. This is true as well.

I am leaving school early today because of a wedding. I am going to be picked up by a limo, and I am also going to fly in a helicopter. 

And my all time favorite:

I wasn't in school last week because I didn't have any clean underwear left.