Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

As many of you may know from previous (but too few blogs), my family and I have moved from the vicinity of Copenhagen to the Isle of Bornholm, located in the Baltic sea. This is the isle where both my father and my husband were born and grew up, so in many ways, we feel that we have returned home.

Home is an interesting term for me to use - daughter of missionaries, Danish and white, but born in Tanzania, a third cultural kid turned adult. Despite my many years as a regular Danish mother, wife and teacher, home continues to be a term that challenges me. Where is home? Is home attached to a house, a street, a town? 

For me, home has rather become where I keep my belongings, wash my laundry, the place where I tuck my children into bed for the night, the place where I put my feet up and allow myself to not think any reasonable thought at all. These days, home is Nexoe. 

Moving here has surprised me immensely. Or rather, the process of moving has. I hadn't seen the emotional consequences coming. I wasn't prepared to relive all the emotions connected with every single goodbye I have ever said in my life, but it is exactly what I have been forced to. Moving, though well-thought through, well planned and well executed, stirred up so many emotions it has sent my mind reeling and my heart running. It has not been fun, although very educational. I have seen myself through much worse lenses than I have wanted to.

But I know - I believe, and I cling to the belief that God is with me through this. That I am learning and growing and that hopefully, maturing and getting closer to a better me. 

As I work with myself, at myself, I also try to look back to my heritage. I seek to know what I am made of, who I come from, and what I should bring with me into the present. As I do that, I have decided to share with you the story of a very special person in my life. I hope that you will read with me over the next weeks, maybe months, as I dedicate my blog to a woman who has influenced me greatly.

I remember a certain holiday that my family and I took in Mombasa, one of our preferred places for vacation when I was a child. My siblings and I would spend most of our time in the pool or the Indian Ocean, where the waves were huge and great fun. We loved to float around on inflated tractor tires, and it was always extra fun when the waves threw us up on the beach with incessant fervor. We would go to bed at night, skin burning from the amount of time in the sun, and our bodies so accustomed to the rhythm of the ocean, that it felt like we were floating on the water.

This one particular vacation something extraordinary happened. At least in my world. My mother skipped rope with me!

Now, that may leave you wondering about my mother. Why would this be so extraordinary? Don´t mothers play with their kids? Sure - and so did mine, but I had never seen her jump rope before. As she giggled and jump and sent curious looks in my father’s direction, it suddenly hit me: my mom used to be a little girl! I knew that - but in my world her childhood was a thousand light years away, a fairytale she used to tell me stories about. But as she laughed and skipped, a dark-haired girl formed within my imagination and I almost felt like I met my mother as she had been as a child. I suddenly realized that this woman I adored, revered and loved, was as frail a human as myself. She was flesh and blood, with a real childhood and real memories behind her. In a split second, I felt she understood me because she knew by personal experience what it was like to be a little girl. And I loved her all the more for it.

Let me introduce you to my mother - a magnificent woman, quiet and humble, but a fountain of strength and wisdom to learn from. My mother, Hannah.

My mother, Hannah, and father, Egon.

Collecting people

It just recently dawned on me that I perhaps have one of the weirdest hobbies ever... except from the woman I heard of, whose hobby was collecting hobbies.
My hobby is simply collecting people!

Sometimes, when I am in good company and feeling strangely safe and comfortable, I find myself itching to tell my company about people who in some way or another move me, touch me, awe me etc. Often, I find it next to impossible to convey my fascination with these people. How on earth do you explain to someone how fantastic you perceive someone they don't know? Adjectives such as good, awesome, funny, sweet and amazing just don't really come alive the way I want them to.

So why do I collect people? I think it's because I continue to marvel at the creativity of our Lord. He has succeeded in creating an amazing mass of different individuals, none identical to any. People are put together with a multitude of colors, talents, tastes, shapes and languages. I enjoy being surrounded by unique individuals, and I feel blessed by having these people in my life.

There is no way that I could make a list to share with you - I would not be able to mention all those in my collection, and frankly, I don't know how to categorize or even set up criteria for being a part of my collection. I have no idea how many people have found their way into my collection. All I know is that they all add color to this tapestry of life that I hope to weave.

But I will share one person with you:

Mikael is a creative musician, cook and husband/father. He has a great sense of humor and usually, a good sense of style. This particular picture is from his wife's 30th birthday party, for which he helped cook and serve and survived being the only male in the company. What a great (or something) apron....

Two Namibian women

Oh yes, you shaped med first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration - what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.
Psalm 139:13-16 (The Message)

I'm back from Helsinki again. What a wonderful trip! We woke up Sunday morning to beautiful white snow and took a good run in it.
Saturday night I went to the sauna with a group of wonderful women, and after that, we ate together and I got to speak to them. We ended the evening praying in small groups, and I was immensely blessed by this.
My group had 2 Namibian women in it, and as we prayed our first prayer, they were very quiet, but suddenly, it was like courage took hold of them and they prayed up a storm! I asked them to pray for my menstrual cycle and the mood swings I so badly want to live without, and the first woman to pray was beautiful Bertha. Studying to be a nurse, I suspect she felt this was just her thing - praying for the physical body to line up and behave itself! But I was stunned. She prayed out of 2 Timothy 1:7: For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. She prayed for self-discipline in my life, and then continued to pray that I would be able to give thanks for my body, as the Bible tells us that we are wonderfully made.

I have been so upset about my body and my hormones and all the mood swings. I have been so frustrated and quite frankly, so deeply affected by this that I have literally cried out to God.

But I have never thought to thank Him for my body and all of its functions.

Perhaps I ought to. Perhaps I ought to be more grateful, more focused on all the good things that my body is capable off. Perhaps I ought to show a little more respect for this wonderful thing that God has designed and created. Will it remove all less desirable aspects? Probably not. But as I ask Him to heal me and make my body more harmonious, I will be grateful for it. Grateful that I don't suffer from anything worse.

What a weekend. I went to Finland and met prayer warriors from Namibia. And I also realized that a Finnish childhood friend of mine, now living in Japan, is married to the sister of the woman whose house I slept in. What a small world this is.

Pray for me, I'm off to Helsinki.

Seriously, I am off to Helsinki tomorrow morning. I'll be visiting the Helsinki Vineyard and teaching at a women's gathering. I will also be trying out a Finnish sauna.

Going to Helsinki has got me thinking about some of the Finnish people I knew growing up. I remember a very young, blonde boy I went to grade school with. My friend Rebecca and I both had a crush on him, but she mentioned it first, so he was hers. In our dreams.
In high school I knew 3 other Finnish boys and the sister of one of them. Her name was Outi.

Outi probably doesn't know this, but she has a very special place in my heart. One evening at Rift Valley Academy (boarding school in Kenya), I went to the chapel to have a good cry and pour out my troubled teenage heart to God. I was so desperate for some kind of sign that He cared about me, that I had value and that I wasn't invisible and unimportant to the people around me. I felt so small and insignificant that night. I remember begging God to send somebody to the chapel, because I was growing more and more upset and afraid of being alone.

On my knees at the alter, I suddenly heard the door open slowly, and in stepped Outi. She walked straight up to me and sat down, putting her arms around me, letting me cry on her shoulder. Outi, who probably had difficult days of her own, being a missionary kid just like me, miles away from home and family. I don't remember all she said, but I do remember her saying this: "God told me to go to the chapel. Someone would be there who needed me."

I have never forgotten Outi for that. She was a messenger from God that night, stating loud and clear that He heard me, that He knew me and cared for me. She was a drop of grace from heaven, bringing relief to a dry soul that night. She was so obedient that it changed something in me.

In Helsinki I will be teaching on how obeying can save lives. I will look at Esther from the Old Testament, hoping to show my listeners what an ordinary, but obedient, woman can accomplish, if she listens to the Lord and obeys him.

So please pray for me, at I take all my ordinary character traits with me. Please pray that I will be obedient, and that God will fill my mouth with the words he wants to share.

Sacrifice and worship

The whole assembly bowed in worship, while the musicians played and the trumpets sounded. All this continued until the sacrifice of the burnt offering was completed.

I'm reading my way through the Bible - something I expect will take me a year to do. To help me, I found a Bible reading plan from The Navigators, an organization of people who love Jesus and want to tell others about him (see www.navigators.org)

I am using their Bible reading plan called The Discipleship Journal Bible Reading Plan, and I can only highly recommend it. 

It is downloadable at www.navpress.com/uploadedFiles/15074%20BRP.dj.pdf

Advertising aside: At the moment, I am reading through 2 Chronicles. What strikes me is that the kings of Jerusalem again and again turn away from God, only to have God punish them severely - only to be followed by a new king who does what is right in the eyes of the Lord. And doing what is right in the eyes of the Lord always makes a difference! But it's like they just never learn, because soon, there's just a new king who gladly forgets God.
In the 2 Chronicles 29, a new king comes to power, and he wants to return to God. He carries out a purification of both priests, Levites and the temple. When everything is ready, they bring a multitude of offerings. I could not help but notice this verse: "The whole assembly bowed in worship, while the musicians played and the trumpets sounded. All this continued until the sacrifice of the burnt offering was completed." The question that resounds in my head now that we no longer bring offerings to be burnt, is - how long will you worship? And what sacrifice will you bring?

Jesus was the last offering to be sacrificed. His was the blood that was strong enough to be our saving sacrifice. His death on the cross was "all", what was needed - "all" in quotation marks because it was certainly not a small thing, but in fact an invaluable act - one that can never be repaid! We can only bring our lives as a sacrifice - living our lives in the shadow of his greatness, using our whole life to worship him, listening to him and doing what he asks of us. So the answer to my resounding questions must necessarily be "I will worship the rest of my life" and "I will sacrifice my life - my own will, my own way - and the rest of my days I will follow God." 

Is it easy? No. It is demanding to surrender your own will and the control of your life. There are days when I want to fight surrender - but again and again I am reminded that God does not want to do me any harm - that what he wants for me, is actually only good. When I look at the kings and Jerusalem in the 2 Chronicles, it becomes transparently clear: when they stay close to God, is it good for them. When they turn away from him, all goes horribly wrong!

Jeremiah 29:11-13 says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.You will seekme and find me when you seek me with all your heart." 

There is no doubt in my mind - I will keep me close to Him!

Offer og Tilbedelse


Hele forsamlingen tog del i tilbedelsen, som varede indtil alle ofrene var brændt.

Jeg er ved at læse mig gennem Biblen - noget, jeg regner med vil tage et års tid, til hjælp har jeg fundet en Bible læseplan fra The Navigators, som er en organisation af mennesker, der elsker Jesus og ønsker at fortælle andre om ham (se www.navigators.org)

Læseplanen hedder The Discipleship Journal Bible Reading Plan og kan varmt anbefales og downloades på www.navpress.com/uploadedFiles/15074%20BRPdj.pdf

Reklame til side: Lige for tiden er jeg så i gang med at læse 2. Krønikebog igennem, og det, der slår mig er, at kongerne i Jerusalem igen og igen vender Gud ryggen, hvorefter Gud straffer dem hårdt - så kommer der en ny konge, som "gør, hvad der er ret i Herrens øjne." Det gør altid en forskel! Men det er som om, de bare ikke tager ved lære, for så kommer der bare en ny konge, som endnu engang vælger at glemme Gud.

I 2. Krønikebog 29 er der kommet en konge til magten, som ønsker at vende tilbage til Gud. Han gennemfører en renselse af både præster og levitter, samt af templet. Når alt er klart, skal der ofres både brændofre, syndofre og sonofre, samt drik- og takofre. Og det, der sagde mig noget særligt var dette "Hele forsamlingen tog del i tilbedelsen, som varede indtil alle ofrene var brændt." vers 28. Det spørgsmål, der runger i mit hoved, nu hvor vi ikke længere brænder ofre, er - hvor længe vil du tilbede? Og hvad er det, du ofre?

Jesus var det sidste offer, der blev bragt. Han blev det blod, der var stærkt nok til at være vores syndoffer. Hans død på korset var "alt", hvad der skulle til - alt i citationstegn, fordi det jo ikke var en lille ting, men i virkeligheden et uvurderligt offer - ét, der aldrig kan tilbagebetales! Vi kan kun bringe vores liv som offer - leve vores liv i skyggen af hans storhed. Bruge hele vores liv på at tilbede ham, lytte til ham, og gøre dét, han beder os om. Så svaret på mine rungende spørgsmål må nødvendigvis være "jeg vil tilbede resten af mit liv" og "jeg vil ofre hele mit liv - min egen vilje, mine egne veje - resten af mine dage vil jeg følge Gud."

Er det nemt? Nej. Det er krævende at afgive sin egen vilje og kontrollen over sit liv. Der er dage, hvor jeg stritter imod - men igen og igen minder Gud mig bare om, at Han ikke vil mig noget ondt - at dét, han ønsker for mig, faktisk kun er godt. Når jeg ser på kongerne og Jerusalem i 2. Krønikebog står det lysende klart: når de holder sig tæt til Gud, går det dem godt. Når de vender sig fra ham, går det grueligt galt!

Jeremias 29:11-13 siger "For jeg ved, hvilke planer jeg har for jer, siger Herren, planer om fred og ikke om ulykke, planer om fremtid og håb. Når I beder til mig om hjælp, vil jeg høre jer, når I søger efter mig vil I finde mig. Ja, hvis I søger mig af hele jeres hjerte, vil I finde mig." 

Der er ingen tvivl i mit sind - jeg vil holde mig tæt til Ham!